Abigail @ 1 month

 

I admit, I almost forgot about doing a monthly post for my third-born. I did do her 1 month old picture, though, and it’s only 3 days late!

 

Abigail is a pretty good sleeper. Usually I have to wake her during the day every 3 hours to eat. (I’m trying to keep her on my schedule, not hers’—if it was up to her, she’d sleep all day & play all night!) At night, she’ll sleep anywhere from 3 1/2- 6 hours, wake up to eat, then go back to sleep for another 3 or 4 hour stretch. In the first few weeks, she’d take 1 or 2 hours to go to sleep after every feeding (especially at night!), in order to work out her gas and tummy issues. It’s getting better, and now she’s awake more contentedly during the day for 1 or 2 hours after each feeding, and only 30 minutes or so at night feedings. (So far I think she’s been my best sleeper, even though we did have a few rough nights the first two weeks.)

I accredit her better sleeping patterns this past week to the fact that we’ve been putting her down on her tummy. Though the doctor advises to always put a baby on her back, she sleeps much more comfortably on her stomach, and since she has pretty good head control I think she’s fine! She has slept in her own crib in her room almost from week 1. Like Andrew, she made too many noises to sleep in our room in the bassinet. Her room is only feet away from our room and I can hear her cry even without a monitor. She does like to be rocked to sleep, and I usually put her in her crib only after she’s dead asleep, but I don’t mind letting her cry up to 10 or 15 minutes or so if she wakes up before time, and I think she’s starting to learn!

She is very efficient at nursing, usually only taking 10-15 minutes total. Most of the time she nurses on only one side, sometimes both, but either way, she is quick at eating, just slower at digesting afterward!

Leah and Andrew love to play with her, hold her, kiss her all over her face, and generally smother her with love. If she’s awake, they want to see her and touch her. If she’s asleep, they’re asking when they can see her! I can’t really say they’re helpful yet, but then there isn’t really much they can do at this point to help.

She is starting to not like this bouncer seat or her swing quite as much since she’s been sleeping on her tummy. She’ll only tolerate a few minutes before she starts crying, but I’m trying to get her used to them again!

 

Abigail’s First “Real” Bath- Nov. 12, 2012

Her umbilical stump fell off pretty early, at only 10 days old, so she got to take her bath the following Monday. As you can see, she wasn’t a big fan. She screamed pretty much the whole time! Since then, she’s gotten used to it, but still cries when she initially gets in and when she gets out.

 

One Month Old

She is such a sweet little girl and really has been so easy so far. Though sometimes it is frustrating because she’ll sleep all day until I need to get something done (like cook dinner or give Andrew & Leah their bath) and then need to be held; still, she’ll sleep through church or outings and eat well while we’re out. She hasn’t really smiled yet, she always seems so serious, but she’s very curious—holds her head up to look all around and she stares at me with her huge blue eyes when I hold her. I love our times alone together at night after Leah & Andrew go to bed. I don’t think I’ll ever understand how parents can say they don’t think they’d have enough love to have more than one or two children because I have more than enough for this little third-born!

 

2 weeks & Kids' Rooms finally finished

I just got back from Andrew's 2-week check-up. The boy is up to 8 lbs. 4 oz.! That is a whopping gain of 2 oz. per day-- over a pound in one week! That alone made me feel so much better about all our nursing issues-- apparently something is going right! He is in the 75th % for weight & 90th % for length (20 inches). Leah didn't reach 8 lbs. until she was 1 month old! I can definately see the little chunk on his legs.






























The nursing is slowly getting better. He latches really well on one side, but we're still having a lot of issues on the other side. The lactation consultant suggested pumping a minute or two on that side and to just keep trying, getting him used to it. I was concerned about him only nursing 5 to 10 minutes each session, but she said that can be perfectly normal-- my milk just lets down quickly, and I should just consider myself blessed. She said it is different for every person and really as long as the baby is gaining the right amount of weight, I should not focus on the time it takes.


I discussed his gas issues with the dr. and he said it is also perfectly normal. (Though he will sleep 2 pretty good 2-hour stretches at night, at the 3am feeding, he will usually get really fussy, and though he doesn't cry continually, he will start to cry every time I put him down in his bed. It's the same way in the afternoons. It usually takes 2-4 hours for him to work out his wiggles & squirms & arching back.) The dr. suggested a few things, like white noise while he's sleeping, a vibrating bouncer seat (too bad the vibration doesn't work on the one we have!), and of course just making sure he burps well... Looking back at Leah's newborn days, we were still struggling with this issue at 6 weeks or so, and the dr. also said his digestive system really won't regulate until around that time, so we just have to wait it out a few more weeks, and hopefully it will get better.




This past weekend, we finally finished up his nursery. (Well, there's still a little more junk to put away, which is why I didn't get a good overall picture of it, but it won't take more than an hour or two. If only I had about 3 more closets!) We transitioned Leah to her "big girl" bed, which was a lot easier than I thought it would be. We tried at her nap time on Sat. She didn't seem like she was going to like it at first-- she tried to go over to Andrew's room to get into the crib, but we kept talking up the "big girl" bed and how cool it was that she could take her stuffed animals & her books with her, and how she was such a big girl. She went down okay, but then got up & started crying. Brett went up for a second try, read to her again, and she was fine. She did fine at bed time as well, although she has been waking up seemingly more at night. In the mornings, she's still sitting in her bed when we go up to get her, even though I'm sure she knows she can get out. I think maybe she thinks she'll get in trouble if she gets up. We've taken plently of safety measures in her room regardless in case she does decide to get up!

































So since she's transitioned, we were able to move the crib to Andrew's room and get that set up, and finish everything else. We love love Leah's new cute little girl room! Andrew's still needs a few finishing touches, but it definately looks like a little boy's space!

post-partum

What an adventure this past week has been! When I read about post-partum blues during my pregnancy, I never thought I would be one to experience it. I thought this perfect little baby would enter my world and I would adjust as if she'd always been there. I figured I'd get into a routine within a week or two and everything would be so much fun. It's day nine and I think I've cried at least once a day. I've almost given up breastfeeding at least once a day. I've wished for freedom from this creature that consumes my every waking moment. I've selfishly longed for time of my own without having to stop what I'm doing to feed the baby.

Nursing is still an uphill battle. She takes one step forward only to take another step back. There have been several times when it has taken her 30 minutes just to latch on. She doesn't cry or scream, she just plays around, or falls asleep. Those are the times when I just get so frustrated I want to give up. Then there are the times she latches on perfectly and nurses for 45 minutes straight. Those times I feel like I've constantly got a baby attached to me and I get frustrated at that. I know deep down that things take time. I know that one day she will get it, and I won't dread every feeding session. But right now that seems like a distant future. I'm really not seeking pity by writing this, really I'm just trying to record my thoughts for myself to look back on.

Thankfully, we do have a really good baby. She really does sleep for long stretches, and we're beginning to realize that's okay. That may be why she doesn't always latch on immediately-- she's just sleepy. I've been so engrained with the idea that the baby needs to eat every 2 1/2 to 3 hours that I'm glued to the clock. And when I wake her too soon, that's when she doesn't eat well. So we're letting her sleep. We still don't know if this is right or wrong, but she's gaining weight, she seems to have regular bowel movements, and she's usually very content. She does have alert periods, and that's when I love to play with her and find all the hard times worth it. She smiles in her sleep and it melts my heart every time. She makes the cutest sounds when she sleeps, like little squeaks of contentment, and they make us laugh every time.

My sweet husband is there every time I break down. He encourages me to try and try again with her. He reminds me that I'm a wonderful mother already. He loves to kiss the baby all the time and play with her every chance he gets. He's great at diaper duty. But mostly he's just patient with me and supportive in whatever options I decide to try. I feel bad that I don't feel romantic at all and that Leah and her feeding consumes my thoughts, but he seems to not mind. I'm praying that 2 or 3 weeks from now we'll look back on this time as bittersweet. We'll realize that it really wasn't as bad as we thought, and we'll regret that we wished it away so quickly.

Look at me-- I'm one week old!

6 days old

I can hardly believe Leah is already 6 days old. These past few days have been hard, they've been exhilirating, they've been rocky, but also so rewarding! We've cried, we've laughed, we've passed out from sheer exhaustion. Mostly we're just surviving. Mom & Dad were a huge help while they were here, and I didn't have to even think about cleaning or cooking or anything but taking care of the baby. And that seems to be a full-time job already. I knew it would be a lot of work, but I never imagined I would have absolutely no time for myself. By the time we get her changed & fed and back to sleep, there's only an hour and a half of rest before we have to do it all over again.

Breastfeeding is still really hard, and has been my biggest weakness emotionally. It is the only thing that has made me cry. I am persistent, but flexible. Many times she will wake up very fussy and hungry and get so upset that she just cannot latch on and stay on. She puts her hands in her mouth (a lot!-- I'm beginning to understand what was going on inside my womb when she was there-- she is a squirmy critter!), she sucks the wrong way (apparently something she learned wrong in the womb), she pulls back and just screams. We try and try and sometimes she'll catch on but sometimes I just get so frustrated and she just gets so frustrated that we give up and give her a bottle, just so she gets enough to eat. We've tried a device called an SNS, Starter Nursing System that has a little tube that attaches to the breast to give an extra source of milk flow, but only if she is latched on properly. At this point, I can use it with my own milk instead of formula like we were originally using, because my milk flow is fine, and I have been pumping regularly. I had an infection in one breast, and the nipple is slightly flat so she still has a really hard time with that side, but we are working on it.

I was almost ready to give up and go exclusively to bottlefeeding but I met with a lactation consultant at the pediatrician's office today and she was very encouraging. She said just to not let her give up. Just keep pushing her to take the breast. The milk doesn't come as fast as the bottle, and that is why she gets so frustrated, so she's offered me some solutions for that. Now I think I have the willpower to keep trying at this, even though it will be really hard. I am praying that 4 or 5 days from now, or maybe 2 weeks, she'll be a pro and nursing will be the least of my worries! Brett has been amazing, too. It takes more than 2 hands to nurse her at this point and he's given up his precious sleep, too, to help me, and will support me no matter what happens.

Thankfully, Leah sleeps very well. After feeding, she'll be in a state of quiet alert for up to 30 minutes and then she'll slowly drift off. Sometimes she can get really gassy, and that makes her fussy so we may have to pick her up and burp her several times before she actually falls to sleep, but usually once she does, she can sleep for a 3 or sometimes even 3.5 hour stretch. She really only cries when she's hungry or needs her diaper changed, which I'm thinking makes her a pretty easygoing baby! I don't think I've actually caught up on my sleep yet, but I know there will be time for that later!

The pediatrician gave her a good report, and was able to answer a lot of our questions. She lost 5 lbs. in the hospital, but has gained them all back as of today. She had a mild case of jaundice when she was born, but it seems to be going away and hasn't really affected much. She also was born with her foot slightly disfigured-- just bent improperly as if she was laying in the womb with it wedged in a rib or something (would make sense!) but she is optimistic that with daily stretching it will return to normal on its own. She has a blocked tear duct, making her eye really crusty but that is apparently common. There is nothing going on with her that is not normal for a baby her age. Which comforts me. And gives me hope that this is going to turn out to be fun after all.

A Post About Breastfeeding

Last night, Brett & I attended a class on Breastfeeding. I thought it would be kinda weird, but actually the instructor was really fun and made everything very comfortable and very informative. (I was really excited to hear that our hospital has 14 lactation consultants on staff! 14! And one will automatically be sent to talk to us about 24 hrs. after the baby is born. And she will be all mine, to ask all the questions I might have!) Both of us, I think, feel much more informed now, and ready to conquer a task we have never attempted. I have heard so many good things about breastfeeding, there was never a question about whether that would be my chosen method of nourishment for my child. But I have also heard so many stories of people failing at it, for some reason or another. So I promised myself I would definately give it a try-- a really good try-- but I would not be hard on myself if for some reason it wasn't for me. (Granted, we have not even considered what our budget would look like if we had to fork over $70/ month for formula, but we'll cross that bridge if/when we get to it.)

After the class last night, I really feel it can be done. It will be time-consuming: newborn babies feed 8-12 times in 24 hours?!-- and most of the time, it's on their own timing, not any kind of schedule (no schedule?-- eek!). It might be painful the first few weeks. It will be trying. But I know the benefits, I know the results. (Did you know that children who are breastfed generally get higher results on IQ tests? I won't go into anymore of that. I know plenty of people have very legitimate reasons for not breastfeeding and I don't want to become any sort of psycho anti-formula advocate.) And I think the end results far outweigh any difficulties it may take to get there (which is also my current attitude towards labor & delivery of the baby). My concerns: Will I really know when the baby is hungry? Will I know when she has had enough to eat? Will I feel as if I'm constantly attached to the baby, with no time to myself? I don't really need reassurance or answers, I'm just being candid.