Mary pondered these things in her heart...

This Christmas I have been thinking a lot more about Jesus coming to earth fully man, yet fully God. It seems a little more real to me now that I've born a child of my own. Jesus came to earth as a newborn baby. I think about what Leah was like as a newborn. She required constant care-- feeding, diapering, putting to sleep. It's so hard to fathom Mary doing all these things for Jesus. She did all these knowing that her child was the Savior of the world. That her child was part of a much greater plan, one that would save all the people of the world. She may not have known exactly how that plan would pan out, but she knew that her child was God himself, in the flesh. What an incredible responsibility she must have felt!

To carry the Christ child was a blessing God had bestowed upon Mary, but do you think she saw it as a blessing when she was in that stable giving birth at such a young age, with perhaps no help at all? Do you think she saw it as a blessing when she was awake at 1 in the morning feeding this perfectly human little baby for the 8th time that day? Did she feel blessed when the newborn Jesus wouldn't stop crying (I don't know, though, would that be considered a sin)?

And then there's the whole idea that he was going to grow up and Mary would suffer. I'd like to share a portion of a blog I was reading written by Mary Beth Chapman, wife of the Christian singer Steven Curtis Chapman. She says it better than I could say it:

"Mary, mothering the Son of God! She was human, she had a baby, and she raised that baby with the heaviness that she was to see him suffer and thus she too would suffer. I think when Mary was hiding things in her heart; it was a lot more than the reality of whom she carried in her womb. I am certain that she was hiding away the memories of first smiles and steps, as well as the first tears and tumbles. Knowing what was to come, did Mary have the opportunity to live differently as a mom to her little boy? I believe she did. I am sure that she watched him differently, taught him differently, and prayed differently. I can only imagine the discussions that she and Joseph would have when their son wasn’t listening, how they probably begged God to let the cup pass from them, but in the end yielding up the prayer we all hesitate to pray when it comes to our children…. Your will be done."

I can never imagine the type of suffering that Mary went through watching her son die. I hope I will never have to go through something like that. I can in no way even begin to compare myself to Mary. But the way she lived her life and the faith she exhibited even as she saw her own child dying is certainly something I would like to work on in my own life. And it certainly inspires me to cherish every moment with my child. Because she is not my own. She belongs to God. And I only have her for a short time.